Some of us have been married and navigating our sibling-in-law relationships for a while now. Think back to what it was like to meet the family of the man you loved for the very first time. Incredible anticipation and butterflies in your stomach, accompanied with the hope that they were going to love you, and you them. Kendra Pete, writer for DIL Diaries, brings us back to that moment, and offers advice for those entering new sibling-in-law relationships. Her advice can really be helpful at any time too, use these tips as ways to turn around a dicey relationship. Share these tips with anyone you know starting their journey as a sibling-in-law!
Let’s admit it. As future daughter-in-laws, we all are kind of iffy about meeting our future sisters-in-law. They seem to be protective of their brothers and already have an ideal girlfriend picked out for them. It’s easy to feel like somewhat of an “outsider” stepping into a whole new territory, and trust, meeting the SIL is the baby step to meeting the MIL (mother-in-law). So, how can you score-in big with the SIL and win her over? Here are a few tips for making the “Big Day” go a lot smoother:
1) Do research.
It may sound strange, but believe me, this step is crucial! Chances are you have spoken to your fiancé about her before, but DIG DEEPER. Find out the kind of music, movies, and books she likes. This says a lot about a gal. In addition, it’s easy to broach these subjects because they’re neutral topics that allow you and your future SIL to bond through similar interests.
2) Find out just how protective she really is.
Ask your beau to tell you how she reacted to meeting his past girlfriends. Get him to describe those ex’s as well because she may have had a valid reason for disliking her…I mean she isn’t you, right? This step shows you what character traits the SIL likes and dislikes in past girlfriends. Once again, this may lead to a stronger bond because you probably can’t stand those kind of divas either!
3) Don’t get too personal too soon.
Ideally, your relationship with your SIL should grow as if she were your biological sister, but let’s not get carried away and overstep boundaries just yet. Understand that certain topics are off limits for the initial meeting (i.e. her past relationships). Don’t approach her as if she’s your “sandbox” friend (known her since you were in diapers). Instead, approach her like you would approach any young woman who you seek to form a new friendship with. Just let things flow and most importantly, be you!
4) Accept the vibe she gives you.
This means if she greets you whole-heartedly and embraces you with a hug, then it will be a piece-of-cake to win her over! Feel free to be a little more open and less reserved. However, if she seems to be holding back then reassess and reload your ammunition of “I’m so happy to see you!” You’re in for a rougher ride, but buckle up and put on your happy face.
The first meeting is the most anticipated, but does not have to be a nightmare. Just remember that your fiancé loves you and loves his sister too. He knows her almost better than anyone else does, so (if he’s a good guy) he’ll understand that she can be a handful at times. All he wants to see is for the both of you to give it a try because you are two of the most important women in his life. All in all, if you can’t muster up enough courage on your behalf, then do it for your better half!
What was your experience like when you met your siblings-in-law for the first time?