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My MIL Wants to Plan the Wedding!

Question by Anonymous:

I am getting married and my future mother-in-law wants to be VERY involved in the planning.  My mom and I always dreamed of doing this together, and she is forcing her way into all the planning.  What can I do with her so that she feels involved, but is not in the middle of everything?

 

Answer by Dr. Laviage:

This is your day and you are allowed to have it go as closely as you have been picturing it since you were a little girl.  Having said that, remember that mothers and mothers-in-law were also little girls once, too, and while they already had their weddings, they have also dreamed of the day they get to plan a wedding with their daughters.  If this is a fairly traditional event, the good news is that your MIL already has a very important project to plan – the rehearsal dinner!  So, make sure she knows this is an important event and the two of you will work together to make sure that goes off without a hitch.  As for the actual wedding planning, I’m wondering if you can’t also find a project for her to do too – making her a feel a part of the planning while not necessarily a part of all of it.  In addition, without feeling she is making decisions, it would be a nice gesture to fill her in as you decide on certain aspects – for example, share with her the bridesmaids dresses once you have picked them out, or the color scheme you have chosen, and you never know – she may have an idea or two that fits perfectly with your theme!  You get to call the shots, but if you have a MIL who is wanting to support you, you may find yourself needing all the support you can get during this happy, but stressful, time.

 

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One Response to “My MIL Wants to Plan the Wedding!”

  1. I tried that! I gave my MIL the entire Cocktail Area and the outside hall area. On top of it I showed her several invitations before I ordered them and let her select the venue with us.

    There are some MILs out there you won’t be able to satisfy ever! Mine wants to change the invitation text, my wedding favors, the ceremony and reception hall decoration and the color theme of my wedding. Oh and if things don’t go her way she bugs my fiance until he and I end up fighting. My poor mom keeps saying pick whatever you like it your day as a couple.

    I did love her before all this wedding planning… now I can’t wait until the wedding is over and I don’t have to deal with her again.

    I hope it works out better for you.

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